Is it ok for a baby to sleep with a pacifier?

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If you are a parent of a baby or a young child, you might be wondering about pacifiers. As a sleep consultant, I get questions like &#;is it okay for a baby to sleep with a pacifier?&#; and &#;when should my baby STOP sleeping with a pacifier&#; all the time!

There&#;s SO much conflicting information out there that it can feel overwhelming!

In this blog article, I will be talking about why pacifiers are so fantastic, when you should introduce it to your little one, and when you should get rid of it. I will also be sharing an amazing insight from my pediatric dentist, Dr. Lori Goldenberg.

Are pacifiers good or bad for sleep?

Generally speaking, I&#;m a HUGE advocate of introducing a pacifier to a baby. Here&#;s why:

Pacifiers help calm fussy babies

Pacifiers are great for newborn babies because they help these little babies calm and sooth by activating their &#;calming reflex&#;.  This reflex is triggered when a baby sucks on a pacifier, their thumb, a bottle or a breast. The repetitive sucking motion helps to stimulate the nerves in the roof of the mouth, which sends signals to the brain to release calming hormones such as serotonin and endorphins.  

This calming effect can be particularly helpful for newborns, who are adjusting to life outside of the womb and may feel overwhelmed by new sensations and experiences.  When a newborn feels relaxed and destressed, it&#;s much easier for them to fall sleep peacefully.

This is why introducing a pacifier to a newborn first thing is a good option for calming a fussy baby!

The use of a pacifier helps reduce the risk of SIDS

The use of a pacifier is also known to decrease the risk of SIDS.  Pacifiers do this by promoting a safe sleeping position on their backs and by reducing the likelihood of accidental suffocation or choking.

When a baby falls asleep with a pacifier in their mouth, their tongue is positioned forward, which helps to keep their airway open. This position also encourages the baby to breathe through their nose, which is believed to be a safer way of breathing during sleep.

Additionally, pacifiers may also discourage the baby from rolling over onto their stomach, which is a known risk factor for SIDS.    

Pacifiers are wonderful sleep tools for older babies and toddlers

The benefits of pacifiers are not only for younger babies. The pacifier continues to be a wonderful sleep tool for older babies and toddlers because it&#;s inherently calming and soothing. Pacifiers can provide comfort and a sense of security to a child. Sucking on a pacifier can help soothe a baby or toddler, and the familiar sensation can help them relax and fall asleep more easily.

The main time a pacifier can become a sleep problem

While pacifiers are usually wonderful sleep tools for newborn babies, older infants and toddlers, they can sometimes create big sleep problems with younger infants.

When you have a younger infant who:

• heavily relies on their pacifier to fall asleep,
• is aware of when their pacifier falls out of their mouth;
• and they don&#;t yet have the fine motor skills to put it back in their mouths on their own,

you could be faced with LOTS of unnecessary night wakings.

This is exactly what happened with Eliana when she turned 4 months old and went through the 4 month sleep regression. At this point, she was putting herself to sleep completely on her own with the pacifier. Except that she started waking up as soon as she realized it fell out of her mouth, relying on me to reinsert it&#;which was every 90 minutes ALL NIGHT LONG.

This left me NO choice but to remove the pacifier from bedtime and nighttime and teach her how to fall asleep without it (which is VERY possible when need be!)

**If you and your baby are both &#;falling on your face&#; exhausted, possibly because you&#;re stuck reinserting that pacifier ALL NIGHT LONG, and you&#;re feeling ready to get your baby sleeping amazingly&#;but you have no idea where to start, check out my free sleep masterclass here (or click the image below to sign up)**.

Is it okay for a toddler to sleep with a pacifier?

Generally speaking, if your little one is over 12 months of age and is using a pacifier for sleep, it is ABSOLUTELY okay for your baby to sleep with a pacifier.

In fact, I don&#;t recommend eliminating pacifier use from the sleep equation until your child is at least 3 years of age. This is because toddlers often can&#;t understand (or care to understand) why this big change is happening. And they&#;re NOT going to be happy about it!

As a result, taking a pacifier away from a toddler can be a bumpy ride and REALLY impact their night sleep. This is especially the case when you&#;re taking away something that they rely so heavily on to fall asleep.

With older children (developmentally and emotionally), this transition is often easier. Not only are they mature enough to understand what you&#;re explaining to them, they can often be incentivized with rewards charts. This allows the transition to go MUCH more smoothly for this age range.

That being said, we obviously don&#;t want to be compromising your kid&#;s teeth. Always speak to your dentist and listen to their personalized advice for your little one&#;s.

The story of my two girls and their pacifiers

Lori has been our dentist since Emunah was just 2 years-old. When she was 3 years-old, we got rid of her pacifiers at her dental checkup and she got a toy in exchange. Everything, for the most part, went seamlessly.

We had the same plan for Eliana, who&#;s just 2 years younger than Emunah. But when it was time to take Eliana to the dentist, I had this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that she wasn&#;t ready for this transition just yet.

See, Eliana as a 3-year-old was still very much a toddler. She was still throwing lots of temper tantrums, was very impulsive, and didn&#;t seem to understand the concept of a rewards chart. I knew that taking away her pacifier at this stage would be VERY challenging.

I took Eliana to Lori, explained my fears, and asked if it&#;s possible to keep the pacifier for another six months. Lori saw that her teeth were fine and that we could keep the pacifier for longer. Phew.

Because in that 6 month period, Eliana developed and matured quite a bit. She graduated that toddler phase and became a true preschooler. When it was time to go back to the dentist 6 months later, she was more ready to give up her pacifier. As a result, this transition went fairly smoothly!

An INCREDIBLY insightful piece of advice from my dentist

When I reminded Lori of this story as she was speaking to my Sleep Bible members, she made a very insightful comment:

&#;If her teeth were fine at age 3 despite using the pacifier, she was likely only using it for sleep. I&#;m assuming you weren&#;t offering it during the day for soothing purposes.&#; She was 100% right. I&#;ve always made a concerted effort to keep the pacifier in my baby&#;s crib as a sleep tool only. And because I limited her pacifier usage to sleep only, it meant Eliana could sleep with it for longer without compromising her teeth!

To sum things up

To answer the question &#;is it okay for a baby to sleep with a pacifier?&#;, the answer is absolutely YES. The pacifier is a wonderful sleep tool for newborns, infants and toddlers. As long as your little one doesn&#;t overuse the pacifier during the day, you&#;re good!

If there is any advice I can give you to maximize your little one&#;s pacifier usage without compromising teeth, it&#;s to limit pacifier usage for sleep purposes only. If your child is using the pacifier more frequently, chances are that it will begin affecting your little one&#;s teeth well before he turns 3. This means you&#;ll have to get rid of it sooner anyways!

Even though there are tons of children who get rid of their pacifiers by age 2, it&#;s often a VERY challenging process. It&#;s usually a much less bumpy process if you can keep their pacifier until age 3-3.5 without compromising their teeth.

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Pacifiers and sleep are a HOT topic. It seems as though some babies have a pacifier in their mouths all day long, some parents don&#;t want their little ones to get attached to their pacifier so they never use one at all, and most other people are somewhere in between.

As a sleep consultant, I talk about pacifier usage ALL THE TIME, so I want to break it down for you in this blog post. We will talk about:

• When I suggest parents use pacifiers for sleep (hint: for newborns!)
• When I suggest parents stop offering the pacifier for sleep
• How pacifiers can actually hinder your little one&#;s sleep
• How to wean your baby or toddler from the pacifier

And more!

When to Use Pacifiers For Sleep

Pacifiers are great for newborns

When babies are first born, they have a physical need to suck &#; it&#;s called &#;non-nutritive sucking,&#; and that need makes pacifiers GREAT for newborns! Nursing or bottle feeding certainly help meet this physical need, but sometimes a newborn is not hungry but simply needs to suck on something, and a pacifier is just the tool.

Additionally, as newborns have two underdeveloped sleep cycles and don&#;t yet have the ability to self-soothe, pacifiers can be really helpful in soothing a newborn to sleep. My general rule of thumb is to not make the pacifier the first plan of action when trying to get your newborn to sleep, but to have it as an option when other soothing methods aren&#;t working.

Use pacifiers if you want to!

As a sleep consultant, my job is to step in and help families when they ask for it. But I always tell people, if what you&#;re currently doing works for you, your child, and your family, that&#;s great! So if your baby or toddler uses a pacifier for every nap and bedtime and that works for you, I&#;m so thankful.

When to Stop Using the Pacifier For Sleep

Although pacifiers are great for newborns, I recommend pulling that pacifier completely away from sleep by about four months old, if your goal is to help your baby sleep more independently. At four months old, a baby&#;s sleep cycles have adjusted and are now more mature, adult-like cycles, and they now have the ability to learn to self-soothe. So we can start teaching our babes to fall asleep without needing a pacifier to suck on!

Now I know what you&#;re wondering&#;do we have to pull the pacifier away during the day, too? The short answer is no, you don&#;t! I totally understand wanting to keep a pacifier on hand for the road trip where your baby just won&#;t fall asleep, or for the church service where they&#;re happily squealing away and you want to be a bit more quiet. Sure, keep the pacifier, but make sure your child isn&#;t using it too close to sleep time (read further, for more info).

The temptation here, however, is that it will keeping creeping closer and closer to sleep, and eventually you&#;ll be back at square one. So if you do keep the pacifier around, I would keep them out of your child&#;s room altogether and try to use them sparingly.

So let&#;s dig into why I recommend taking the pacifier away from sleep at four months old.

How Pacifiers Can Hinder Your Child&#;s Sleep

Pacifiers are a sleep prop

First, pacifiers are a sleep prop &#; something outside of a child that they rely on in order to fall and stay asleep. The trouble with sleep props, however, is that relying on certain sleep props, such as feeding, rocking, or using a pacifier, prevents babies and children from becoming independent sleepers.

When families are looking to teach their babies and children to fall asleep on their own and sleep through the night (once physically ready), it&#;s important that we remove those sleep props so they can naturally connect sleep cycles during naps and night time.

I know what some of you are thinking&#;your child is able to fall asleep independently, with the pacifier, and sleep through the night. And if the pacifier falls out, they simply grab it and put it back in their mouth. So what&#;s the problem?

Like I said before, if the way your little one currently sleep works for you, that&#;s great! However, when I work with families, we always work on removing the pacifier from sleep when they&#;re four months or older, because I often see it get in the way.

I&#;ve worked with so many families who seem to have the &#;perfect&#; schedules, the &#;perfect&#; routines, they&#;ve sleep trained, and everything seems to be in the right place&#;BUT their little one still uses a pacifier for all sleep. And something just isn&#;t working, whether that&#;s long night wakings, early mornings, short naps, etc.

Let me explain some more&#;

Pacifiers can cause night wakings, early mornings, and short naps

Using a pacifier requires a physical response from babies and toddlers &#; they have to actively suck on it in order to keep it in their mouth. Because they require such a physical response, I have found that pacifiers can actually keep little ones in a lighter stage of sleep, making it easier for them to stir in the night, especially when the pacifier falls out.

This is why parents often get stuck having to pop back into their baby&#;s room multiple times throughout the night, because the pacifier fell out of their baby&#;s mouth and they need help replacing it. And that can be exhausting!

Additionally, whether a little one knows how to replace the pacifier themselves or not, it still breaks up their sleep. And the pacifier can actually make it that much harder to fall back asleep. One reason being, like I mentioned before, pacifiers require such a physical response from babies and toddlers to engage them. Can you imagine chewing gum while trying to fall asleep? That chewing would certainly keep you awake longer, and you&#;d probably stir and keep chewing every now and then.

&#;But if the pacifier falls out, my baby knows how to put it back in their mouth without needing help.&#;

This is a response I frequently get when I tell families my sleep training plans do not include a pacifier&#;

That&#;s definitely better than you having to replace it multiple times a night or nap, however your child is still getting more broken up sleep. For them to realize the pacifier fell out, sit up, roll around, find another one, turn it the right way, and get it in their mouth is a lot! We all experience natural night wakings, however those wakings are generally so brief we don&#;t even remember them in the morning because we simply go right back to sleep. And we&#;re looking for consolidated sleep.

&#;How are pacifiers any different than a blanket or a lovey?&#;

This is a another common question! Pacifiers require a physical action in order to &#;engage&#; them &#; your child has to suck on one to keep it in their mouth. And if it falls out, your child has to not only find that small pacifier, but figure out which way to put it in their mouth, and then suck on it to be able to use it.

A blanket, stuffed animal, or lovey, on the other hand, doesn&#;t require much response. Your child can cuddle up next to it, wrap their arm around it, even grasp it in their hands, but when they fall asleep, it&#;s still cuddled right next to them without any more action necessary. Plus, if they happen to &#;lose&#; it, stuffed animals and lovies are much bigger and easier to find than a small pacifier.

Pacifiers can also take off some sleep pressure pre-maturely

Another rule with keeping the pacifier for awake times is still keeping it away from sleep! It&#;s important that, if your baby still occasionally uses their pacifier during awake times, they no longer suck on it around 30 minutes before their nap or bedtime, and 30 minutes after they wake up in the morning or from a nap.

One, we want it totally removed from feeling like it&#;s connected to sleep, and two, we don&#;t want the pacifier taking off any sort of sleepy &#;edge&#; (sleep pressure!) that will help your little one both fall and stay asleep. Using the pacifier too close to sleep can make it harder to fall asleep for that nap or bedtime, or cause a short nap or night wakings to occur due to lack of sleep pressure.

How to Wean Your Baby or Toddler From Sleeping with a Pacifier

Take the Pacifier Away Cold Turkey

I know it might sound scary, or it might sound harsh, but I don&#;t suggest &#;weaning&#; a pacifier &#;  removing the pacifier from your baby or toddler cold turkey is really the quickest and least confusing way to do so!

I suggest you take them all out of your baby&#;s nursery, make sure none have been left under your toddler&#;s bed or covers, and take them all out of your room, so they&#;re just not an option!

And then HAVE A PLAN for what you&#;re going to do when your baby or toddler is upset without it. How will you respond to their protest? When will you respond? What if they wake in the night, what will you do? (Hint hint: use the sleep training method you previously used or one that will work best for your child.) That consistency is so important!

Use a &#;Pacifier Fairy&#; or &#;Gift It&#;

For toddlers and older children who are more verbal and are able to enter a conversation, I&#;ve known some families who talk about how the &#;pacifier fairy&#; is going to come and take their pacifiers, and exchange them for a special gift (kind of like the tooth fairy). This lets the child know their pacifiers will soon be gone and can build some excitement about what&#;s to come.

Similarly, I&#;ve also known families who &#;wrap up&#; their child&#;s pacifiers and &#;gift them&#; to a family or friend having a baby, or to their new sibling.

I&#;ll be honest &#; while both of these ideas seem fun, I still think it&#;s confusing and can cause more challenges. What if your toddler doesn&#;t care about getting a new gift, they just want their pacifier? Or what if they don&#;t fully understand that gifting their pacifiers means they&#;re gone forever? It just kind of seems confusing.

Let&#;s just be honest with our kiddos about how now it&#;s time to learn to sleep without a pacifier and we&#;ll help them do it, and soon they won&#;t even remember how attached they were in the first place.

Conclusion

If you&#;re looking to sleep train your little one, whether four months old, 14 months old, or 4 years old, I suggest saying goodbye to that pacifier! Think about it&#;if you &#;sleep train&#; your little one at 6 months old (with the pacifier), you&#;re going to eventually have to take it away and there will likely be some sleep training that has to happen again to actually remove it altogether.

Also, you may sleep train with a pacifier only to find it doesn&#;t actually fully work, and then you have to take it away anyway. So if you&#;re going to sleep train, let&#;s sleep train all the way, the right way, when you&#;re ready, so you don&#;t have to do it all over again a few months or years down the road when it&#;s time for the pacifier to go.

If even thinking about taking the pacifier away seems totally overwhelming and you just don&#;t know where to start, or if you know it&#;s time to take it away but you want some reassurance and accountability in doing so, that&#;s what we&#;re here for! Check out our coaching options so we can your family get the best sleep possible!

With Grace,

Lauren

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